I Am Back in Melbourne

Yes, it is true. I am back in Melbourne. And no, it wasn’t because things weren’t working out in Montenegro. In fact, I hope to go back for longer as soon as I’m able.

I loved it there. I learned so much! But friends in Melbourne were getting married and having babies and I’m committed to being there for my friends, even if it means going half way around the world.

It was also difficult finding work in Montenegro… I’ll be honest. It’s the sort of place where you need to have an external source of income, that is, income coming in from outside of the country, because pay within the country is very low. I had planned that all out, where my external sources of income were going to come from… my freelance business, podcast, teaching English, etc. The trouble is, that these things take a lot of time to develop and a lot of time before they start producing income, and I found that I didn’t have all that much time. So, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to come back to Melbourne for a short time, work and develop my business, and then go back when it is more sustainable.

I hope to only be here for six months, but we’ll see. It’ll depend on a lot of things. I miss Montenegro, and want to go back as soon as I’m able.

I have mixed feelings about being back. On the one hand, there is excitement about getting to see my siblings and friends whom I have missed very much. But there is also sadness at leaving Europe and my family over there and the new friends I have made there. I guess that’s how it is though. That’s what it’s like being a human with human emotions. Life is full of welcomes and farewells, joys and sorrows. And I realise that the way things are now, I’m always going to miss someone, whatever country I’m in. And that’s okay. Sadness means I’ve loved. It is comforting to know that one day we will all be together again and there will be no more farewells. How wonderful that will be.

Melbourne is a lovely city, but it is not my favourite place and it is no longer somewhere I want to be long term. Not after the last few years with the covid business. The more I study Russia in the last century, the more I realise that Victoria is headed down a similar road. I can see it but so many can’t, and that troubles me. Montenegro may be small and it may be poor but it is free, and I think that’s important.

Melbourne feels huge and busy and affluent after tiny Montenegro. It was a strange feeling, driving back from the airport through the city. It felt uncomfortable, like the hugeness and affluence was too much. Was it culture shock? Perhaps. Do we really need so much affluence? I don’t know. Probably not.

Also, I no longer have a home. I have left my parent’s home in Montenegro and here I am staying with friends. I work online as a writer. And I travel when I can. So, I guess that makes me a digital nomad? :b I don’t know. It has been difficult to process. I have been thinking a lot about what makes a home. Maybe I should write a separate blog post about it. But is home simply a place of your own that you live in? Or is it more than that? Comment and let me know your thoughts. 🙂 I remember too that this world is not my ultimate home. As C.S. Lewis rightly said, “We were made for another world.” It is good to keep that in mind.

Well, here ends my musings on yet another major change in my life. There have been a lot of those this year. Maybe I should write a post about that too?

But at the end of the day, in spite of it all, wherever I live, whomever I miss, whatever craziness is going on in the world, this remains true: God is still good, and He loves me, and He will never leave me. He is bigger, His grace is greater, and His love is deeper than anything I face. In this I place my hope, my confidence, and my trust.

Caitlin

(Photo credit: unsplash.com)